Every December brings back a flood of memories. It’s not just the festive cheer that tugs at my heartstrings but the profound memories of my family coming together—our sacred tradition.
Read more: Navigating the SilenceMy dad, who worked abroad, always made sure to be home during December or January. January 17th was special because it was their wedding anniversary.
I remember how our living room was always filled with laughter with us kids playing games on the PlayStation. My sister and I played light games, but when it came to scarier games like Resident Evil 3, it was dad’s turn to play while we watched, too scared to play but too excited to look away.
My mom was the caretaker, always strict but caring. She made sure we were well, especially when we were sick. Yet, as we grew older and chose to venture out as adults, her protective nature took on a more fervent, almost stifling religious fervor, marking a bittersweet change in our family dynamics.
Losing my parents changed everything. It forced me into adulthood—a journey I still find hard. It’s tough to accept that life moves on without them. My sister seems to handle things better, while I often feel I’m not as mature as I should be.
How do I cope? How should I cope? These questions will remain as is, as I myself do not know. Some days are better, some days are tougher. I keep looking for answers, trying to find comfort in small things that remind me of them. I write down my feelings just to express them, and sometimes, just let myself miss them without looking for a way to stop the sadness.
I’m still learning to accept this new life without them. It’s a lonely journey, but it’s something we all go through. Learning to take on the responsibilities they once had is not just about getting by, but about being brave.
As I reflect on these transitions, a quote resonates deeply with me:
“Adulthood is not an age, but a stage of knowledge of self.” – John Fowles.
It reminds me that growing up isn’t merely about age or experience; it’s about understanding and accepting the myriad parts of our journey, including the inevitable farewells.
In remembering my parents’ teachings and the love they gave, I find the strength to face each day, to grow through the sadness, and to find my own way, no matter how unsure it may be.
ʙᴏɴɴᴇ ᴀᴘᴘᴇᴛɪᴛ 