Living Within My Fantasies

In my head, my world is a beautiful place where I live my life perfectly.

Together with my sister, we were happy pretending to be someone else when we were kids.

Times changed and we both grew up.

But I am still here, stuck inside my childhood imagination.

I produce top-rating soaps. I produce block buster movies. I starred in block buster movies that pays double. I am a well-known reporter. I am a news anchor in the longest-running news authority. I am the CEO of my own TV Network. I record top albums. I sing in front of the crowd applauding my name. I am the CEO of my own recording label, producing competent talents.

Everything is so perfect inside my head.

However, some of the things in my head are getting out of hand, applying everything to the real world.


I produced podcasts that topped the iTunes charts. I faced all the people bashing my work, yet, the number of downloads and iTunes chart-position gave me strength.

I stood with my feeble legs and conquered a news casting competition in 2014. I stood in front of a camera and delivered campus-related news. I faced all the people bashing me for not being worthy, yet, I saw the people who believed in me.

It’s fascinating so far, really.

Not until one day, my dream of becoming a recording artist is slowly taking place.


Imagine your own song, becomes available for streaming in Spotify.

That is crazy for me, man.

Totally crazy.

Seeing that song with my name on it brings tears to my eyes.

The song is called Caveman.

I wrote this around September 2015, drawing inspiration from my fierce anger towards my previous female boss and a ridiculous workmate, where I felt betrayed.

This song is about murder, on how I will end their life and telling them to be aware of what’s coming.

This song is about murder, on how they killed the sheep within me.

This song is about murder, seeking justice on how they destroyed the fragile piece of me that was once broken with a female classmate that destroyed my reputation in my dream-job.


Applying all that anger in a form of an art is a cleansing for my soul.

Whenever I listened to it, I forget the pain that I once felt. Every rage that I have was mastered in a form of a musical art, leaving a part of my heart empty, refreshed like a clean slate.

I once said this to a student who interviewed me, right after I won.

“Keep the fire burning.”

And I still do that until now. I believe. I live for the passion of it.

However, practicality and reality knocks out my dream of grandeur.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s